A recent study, done by the Institute for Social and Economic Research in Great Britain, showed that men improve their standard of living after a divorce while women sacrifice theirs. According to the study, this difference is particularly striking when the couple has children, because the children are more likely to live with their mother. Even to this day, according to statistics most mothers earn less than their husbands and end up paying more child care expenses after a divorce.
The study may have correct results but I’m not sure it took any other factors into account other than money. Personally, I have seen how hard it is for men to get a fair chance in divorce court and after all is said and done, even though they may be saving money, the study does not take into account the emotional scar left on many fathers after a divorce is complete. It is true that in most cases the children are more likely to live with their mother, and thereby no amount of money will replace a father’s lack of contact with his children. Often times fathers go from seeing their child every day to seeing them every other weekend.
Also, I believe that the study may have been alluding to the fact that the non-custodial parent has a higher standard of living post-divorce, regardless of whether that parent is the mother or the father. However, I’ve seen cases where the non-custodial parent has to leave the marital residence where the custodial parent and the children will be residing and have to go live on their friend’s couch or on the street for a while because they can’t afford to pay for two residences.
In conclusion, the study may in deed be right, but in my opinion missed the many complex factors that determine an individual’s standard of living other than money. I really believe that whether you are the custodial parent or non-custodial parent your standard of living post divorce has a lot to do with the person that you are and the representation you had during your divorce. If you are a strong and resilient individual with strong counsel, your rights will be protected, your relationship with your children will not be diminished, your financial assets will be guarded, and the problems in your marriage that lead to the divorce will disappear, leading to a higher standard of living post-divorce.
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.dukhanlaw.com
Showing posts with label attorney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attorney. Show all posts
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
PLAN FOR RELOCATION
What should an individual do if they lack a custody order from a Court of law, but wish to relocate with their child, absent consent of the other parent?
Some parents just move and hope for the best, but this is a very bad idea if there is no official custody order on that parent’s behalf. Of course, there are cases in which a parent relocates without a custody order, and they are allowed to stay in the state to which they relocated despite the other parent’s effort to have the child returned. In fact I just represented a woman who relocated with her children to Oklahoma and despite the father’s efforts to have the children returned, my client was granted an order of custody and allowed to stay in the state to which she relocated. The Judge determined it was in the child’s best interest to stay in the state where they had relocated to and for the mother to have sole custody. Of course, the Father is entitled to visitation with the children and the expense of such travel will be split among the parties. So, with some creative litigation strategies, it is possible to relocate successfully without an initial court order, but it is not recommended.
In a recent Nassau County case, when the wife relocated with her children, the court decided that the father shall have custody of the children and the children were ordered to return to New York. The Wife filed for custody of the children, but the court determined that she was not able to prove that it was in the best interest of the children to move, even though the children had stated they wish to live with their mother in the other state. The Court believed that that father tried harder to foster a relationship between the children and their mother and that he could provide more financial stability for the children.
In conclusion, it is a gamble just picking up and relocating with children absent permission of the Court and an order of custody from the Court. If you are ordered to come back to your original state you may not have a home to come back to, and you may lose the physical custody you had as the court may order the children to move back and that may mean having to relinquish the children to the other parent until you are again able to find a suitable place to reside. Moreover, if the children have already moved and have already been enrolled in school, having to leave a school and having go back to the original state and start another school might have a huge emotional impact on the child.
Therefore, be smart about your decision to relocate. My suggestion is speak to the other parent first. If you cannot work out some agreement with the other parent, then either file for Custody or Modification of Custody with the court, and ask the court for permission to relocate before taking any big steps towards relocation. In court, you will most likely have to go through a relocation trial if there is no settlement, so an attorney will be necessary to create the best litigation strategy with you to make relocation a likely possibility.
If you have any thoughts, questions or comments about this post than I would love to hear from you.
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.DukhanLaw.com
Some parents just move and hope for the best, but this is a very bad idea if there is no official custody order on that parent’s behalf. Of course, there are cases in which a parent relocates without a custody order, and they are allowed to stay in the state to which they relocated despite the other parent’s effort to have the child returned. In fact I just represented a woman who relocated with her children to Oklahoma and despite the father’s efforts to have the children returned, my client was granted an order of custody and allowed to stay in the state to which she relocated. The Judge determined it was in the child’s best interest to stay in the state where they had relocated to and for the mother to have sole custody. Of course, the Father is entitled to visitation with the children and the expense of such travel will be split among the parties. So, with some creative litigation strategies, it is possible to relocate successfully without an initial court order, but it is not recommended.
In a recent Nassau County case, when the wife relocated with her children, the court decided that the father shall have custody of the children and the children were ordered to return to New York. The Wife filed for custody of the children, but the court determined that she was not able to prove that it was in the best interest of the children to move, even though the children had stated they wish to live with their mother in the other state. The Court believed that that father tried harder to foster a relationship between the children and their mother and that he could provide more financial stability for the children.
In conclusion, it is a gamble just picking up and relocating with children absent permission of the Court and an order of custody from the Court. If you are ordered to come back to your original state you may not have a home to come back to, and you may lose the physical custody you had as the court may order the children to move back and that may mean having to relinquish the children to the other parent until you are again able to find a suitable place to reside. Moreover, if the children have already moved and have already been enrolled in school, having to leave a school and having go back to the original state and start another school might have a huge emotional impact on the child.
Therefore, be smart about your decision to relocate. My suggestion is speak to the other parent first. If you cannot work out some agreement with the other parent, then either file for Custody or Modification of Custody with the court, and ask the court for permission to relocate before taking any big steps towards relocation. In court, you will most likely have to go through a relocation trial if there is no settlement, so an attorney will be necessary to create the best litigation strategy with you to make relocation a likely possibility.
If you have any thoughts, questions or comments about this post than I would love to hear from you.
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.DukhanLaw.com
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
NEW YORK DIVORCE LAW: DIVORCE IN HARD ECONOMIC TIMES
So, it seems to me that the hard economic times are causing more and more couples to get divorced. Even though articles and TV specials are claiming that individuals are staying together because they cannot afford to get a divorce, it seems as though the Recession is having the exact opposite effect.
In fact, based on studies Nobel prize winner Becker conducted back in 1977 and published in the Journal of Political Economy, couples that experience any sudden significant and unexpected change in income — positive or negative — are at risk of divorce.
The fact though remains that divorce is never easy and during an economic downturn it can be ever more difficult. Now when couples are seriously considering divorce, it is more important than ever for them to carefully consider their options and think about their financial situation in its entirety. In the past a couple’s home was their largest asset, but now with the fall of the housing market, the loss of jobs and the steadily growing rate of foreclosures, couples are loosing their once most relied upon investment. Recently I witnessed a couple whose worth at the beginning of the marriage was estimated at 15 Million dollars, split the 1 Million left after all their debts were paid off and losses added up at the conclusion of their divorce.
Alarmingly, even though divorces are on the rise and maneuvering through the process is becoming increasingly harder due to the economic crisis, there are more and more articles and stories coming out about individuals representing themselves during a divorce. I cannot even tell you how many individuals come to me because they represented themselves in a divorce, and now seek assistance unraveling the mess that was made out of their assets and life. Moreover, individuals come to me who attempted to draft uncontested divorce documents and find it impossible to get them signed by the Judge, because they are complicated and one must know the applicable laws to complete them properly. Others come to me because they had a service draft their uncontested divorce documents, those that charge $200 and promise to do a quick job, which messed up and now the client has lots certain assets, or even worse, rights to their children.
Matrimonial and family law is an ever-changing landscape that even lawyers need to brush up on every year. In fact, continuing legal education is mandatory in order for lawyers to maintain their licenses to practice law. The lure for most to represent themselves is a financial one, obviously they don’t have to spend money on an attorney, however, such a choice may prove to be much more expensive in the long run.
There are ways to cut costs in a divorce. One of the biggest cost cutters is removing emotions from the divorce arena. If you and your soon to be ex-spouse agree on as many elements of property division and support as possible then your divorce will be that much smoother. Accept the idea that compromise will likely shorten the process and consider mediation or collaborative law, instead of litigation, as dispute resolution options. However, don’t make the mistake of compromising without knowing your legal rights and having an attorney advise you before you begin mediation or any other non-litigious dispute resolution option, and then review any agreement made afterwards.
You do not want to be one of those sad individuals who end up losing custody of their kids because they were ignorant of the law.
Find a lawyer who is easy to communicate with, who is honest, who won’t just cater to your wants but will be upfront about the realities of the situation and who is willing to work with you to come up with a fee schedule that works for you. That is the best way to ensure you get the most bang for your buck and the best deal with your ex-spouse.
IF you have any questions, comments, etc...as always your thoughts are much appreciated!! I would LOVE to hear from you!
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ WWW. DukhanLaw.COM
In fact, based on studies Nobel prize winner Becker conducted back in 1977 and published in the Journal of Political Economy, couples that experience any sudden significant and unexpected change in income — positive or negative — are at risk of divorce.
The fact though remains that divorce is never easy and during an economic downturn it can be ever more difficult. Now when couples are seriously considering divorce, it is more important than ever for them to carefully consider their options and think about their financial situation in its entirety. In the past a couple’s home was their largest asset, but now with the fall of the housing market, the loss of jobs and the steadily growing rate of foreclosures, couples are loosing their once most relied upon investment. Recently I witnessed a couple whose worth at the beginning of the marriage was estimated at 15 Million dollars, split the 1 Million left after all their debts were paid off and losses added up at the conclusion of their divorce.
Alarmingly, even though divorces are on the rise and maneuvering through the process is becoming increasingly harder due to the economic crisis, there are more and more articles and stories coming out about individuals representing themselves during a divorce. I cannot even tell you how many individuals come to me because they represented themselves in a divorce, and now seek assistance unraveling the mess that was made out of their assets and life. Moreover, individuals come to me who attempted to draft uncontested divorce documents and find it impossible to get them signed by the Judge, because they are complicated and one must know the applicable laws to complete them properly. Others come to me because they had a service draft their uncontested divorce documents, those that charge $200 and promise to do a quick job, which messed up and now the client has lots certain assets, or even worse, rights to their children.
Matrimonial and family law is an ever-changing landscape that even lawyers need to brush up on every year. In fact, continuing legal education is mandatory in order for lawyers to maintain their licenses to practice law. The lure for most to represent themselves is a financial one, obviously they don’t have to spend money on an attorney, however, such a choice may prove to be much more expensive in the long run.
There are ways to cut costs in a divorce. One of the biggest cost cutters is removing emotions from the divorce arena. If you and your soon to be ex-spouse agree on as many elements of property division and support as possible then your divorce will be that much smoother. Accept the idea that compromise will likely shorten the process and consider mediation or collaborative law, instead of litigation, as dispute resolution options. However, don’t make the mistake of compromising without knowing your legal rights and having an attorney advise you before you begin mediation or any other non-litigious dispute resolution option, and then review any agreement made afterwards.
You do not want to be one of those sad individuals who end up losing custody of their kids because they were ignorant of the law.
Find a lawyer who is easy to communicate with, who is honest, who won’t just cater to your wants but will be upfront about the realities of the situation and who is willing to work with you to come up with a fee schedule that works for you. That is the best way to ensure you get the most bang for your buck and the best deal with your ex-spouse.
IF you have any questions, comments, etc...as always your thoughts are much appreciated!! I would LOVE to hear from you!
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ WWW. DukhanLaw.COM
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
NEW YORK DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW: NO-FAULT DIVORCE PASSED
New York is officially the last state in the United States of America to adopt No-Fault Divorce Law. As of Sunday, when the governor passed a No-Fault Divorce option, spouses are allowed to terminate their marriages within six months of stating under oath that their unions are “irretrievably” broken.
The new law will take effect on October 12, 2010, bringing New York’s divorce law into the 21st century, as Governor Patterson put it.
Due to the opposition of certain organizations, churches and politicians arguing that certain wives, especially those in long-standing marriages in which they did not work or have other significant outside sources of income, would be at a disadvantage during divorce proceedings when facing spouses with more resources to procure better legal help. Even though it is not clear how the situation of one spouse being able to procure better legal help was any different when there was no “No-Fault” divorce in New York, some backers said that they could not endorse the concept without the concurrent passage of a bill setting standards for temporary maintenance for non-monied spouses.
As a result of these arguments, a bill was also signed into law, which stipulates that judges are to consider a host of factors when setting maintenance levels, from the years a couple was together to the life style to which they had become accustomed and the spouses' prospects of employment. Judges also will be allowed to consider factors they regard as relevant that are not mentioned in the new law.
The Governor also signed a third bill that would require judges to grant interim counsel fees to non-monied spouses, in order to get more resources into the hands of spouses who need them at earlier stages of divorce proceedings.
So, it shall remain to be seen if the two bills will be passed, but for now it is certain that as of October 12, 2010, New York will officially become a No-Fault Divorce state.
If you have any questions or comments please feel free to join the discussion!
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.Dukhanlaw.com
The new law will take effect on October 12, 2010, bringing New York’s divorce law into the 21st century, as Governor Patterson put it.
Due to the opposition of certain organizations, churches and politicians arguing that certain wives, especially those in long-standing marriages in which they did not work or have other significant outside sources of income, would be at a disadvantage during divorce proceedings when facing spouses with more resources to procure better legal help. Even though it is not clear how the situation of one spouse being able to procure better legal help was any different when there was no “No-Fault” divorce in New York, some backers said that they could not endorse the concept without the concurrent passage of a bill setting standards for temporary maintenance for non-monied spouses.
As a result of these arguments, a bill was also signed into law, which stipulates that judges are to consider a host of factors when setting maintenance levels, from the years a couple was together to the life style to which they had become accustomed and the spouses' prospects of employment. Judges also will be allowed to consider factors they regard as relevant that are not mentioned in the new law.
The Governor also signed a third bill that would require judges to grant interim counsel fees to non-monied spouses, in order to get more resources into the hands of spouses who need them at earlier stages of divorce proceedings.
So, it shall remain to be seen if the two bills will be passed, but for now it is certain that as of October 12, 2010, New York will officially become a No-Fault Divorce state.
If you have any questions or comments please feel free to join the discussion!
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.Dukhanlaw.com
Monday, July 19, 2010
New York Divorce and Family Law:
I recently was astonished after reading a blog post, on
http://findonlinedivorcelawyer.blogspot.com, about how there are divorce attorneys for both men & women, making it seem that an attorney cannot be one and the same. The blogger wrote about how choosing a divorce attorney for man is different than a divorce attorney for women. It became clear as I read the blog that the writer either just needed something to post about that week, or really has no idea about choosing divorce attorneys as the blogger him or herself made no indication of how a divorce attorney for a man is any different than any divorce attorney for women, except by starting the blog post by stating: “Divorce lawyers for men are specialized in arguing divorce cases from the male point of view. The choice of a divorce lawyer for men is crucial and needs to be made carefully.”
In fact the blogger writes about how to choose a divorce lawyer specifically for a man by stating:
“you must hire a capable lawyer specializing in divorce settlement. There are divorce lawyers for men out there who have extensive courtroom experience and know what needs to be said and done, to get a divorce settled your way.
There are many ways of looking for divorce lawyers for men. You could start with yellow pages and look out for practicing divorce attorneys in your area. Another way to go about it is through recommendations. Talk to your acquaintances who have gone through with a divorce and ask for recommendations. The better and more experienced a lawyer is, the higher will be his fee. Good counsel comes at a high price. Shortlist a few names and meet the lawyers personally, before you decide.”
How are any of the above criteria different than a divorce lawyer for a women??? I believe this blog is incredibly sexist and does a disservice to those who truly take it for face value, believing that they should shop around for an attorney only because he/she represents all men, or claims to focus on the legal issues of men.
First and Foremost, it is my belief that there is no such thing as a male or female point of view when it comes to divorce. Yes, there is a male party and female party, the judge applying the law is male and female and from time to time you must convince a judge why a male is a better parent than a female; however, I do not believe any of these factors means that divorce attorney must argue a male or female point of view. I believe the only point of view acceptable in divorce court is the “client” point of view. I took an oath to zealously represent each and every client I represent, so the only point of view I argue in the court room is my client’s point of view, not some generic male or female point of view.
I cannot tell you how many times an opposing attorney has made the argument to a judge that the court may not and should not take a child away from the mother, solely because the parent is the mother. I also cannot tell you how many times I have argued my client’s point of view as the father, and have listed all of the characteristics that make my client, the father, the better custodial parent in the best interest of the child, and had the court agree with me. I did not argue these characteristics from a generic male view, but from what my client explained to me and told me, I fought for my client from my client’s point of view. If my client is the mother, I would fight from her point of view and list the characteristics making her the preferred custodian, as that is what attorneys do for both men and women.
It is admitted that the New York Family Court and Supreme Court treat men and women differently in Family Law and Divorce cases, and that some attorneys do focus only on women or men, by choice and because of their belief systems. However, after having representing plenty of men and women in divorce cases, and having fought hard and won custody for many men and women, I am 100% sure that the professional relationship between the client and the attorney is all that matters when choosing an attorney. What I mean is that, if the client has faith in the attorney, and If the attorney believes in the client’s case enough to accept representation of the client, and the attorney has the requisite experience, in court and in dealing with other attorneys, coupled with the knowledge of the law due to their specialization in divorce and family law, then that is all that matters when choosing a divorce attorney for a man or a women.
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.DukhanLaw.com
http://findonlinedivorcelawyer.blogspot.com, about how there are divorce attorneys for both men & women, making it seem that an attorney cannot be one and the same. The blogger wrote about how choosing a divorce attorney for man is different than a divorce attorney for women. It became clear as I read the blog that the writer either just needed something to post about that week, or really has no idea about choosing divorce attorneys as the blogger him or herself made no indication of how a divorce attorney for a man is any different than any divorce attorney for women, except by starting the blog post by stating: “Divorce lawyers for men are specialized in arguing divorce cases from the male point of view. The choice of a divorce lawyer for men is crucial and needs to be made carefully.”
In fact the blogger writes about how to choose a divorce lawyer specifically for a man by stating:
“you must hire a capable lawyer specializing in divorce settlement. There are divorce lawyers for men out there who have extensive courtroom experience and know what needs to be said and done, to get a divorce settled your way.
There are many ways of looking for divorce lawyers for men. You could start with yellow pages and look out for practicing divorce attorneys in your area. Another way to go about it is through recommendations. Talk to your acquaintances who have gone through with a divorce and ask for recommendations. The better and more experienced a lawyer is, the higher will be his fee. Good counsel comes at a high price. Shortlist a few names and meet the lawyers personally, before you decide.”
How are any of the above criteria different than a divorce lawyer for a women??? I believe this blog is incredibly sexist and does a disservice to those who truly take it for face value, believing that they should shop around for an attorney only because he/she represents all men, or claims to focus on the legal issues of men.
First and Foremost, it is my belief that there is no such thing as a male or female point of view when it comes to divorce. Yes, there is a male party and female party, the judge applying the law is male and female and from time to time you must convince a judge why a male is a better parent than a female; however, I do not believe any of these factors means that divorce attorney must argue a male or female point of view. I believe the only point of view acceptable in divorce court is the “client” point of view. I took an oath to zealously represent each and every client I represent, so the only point of view I argue in the court room is my client’s point of view, not some generic male or female point of view.
I cannot tell you how many times an opposing attorney has made the argument to a judge that the court may not and should not take a child away from the mother, solely because the parent is the mother. I also cannot tell you how many times I have argued my client’s point of view as the father, and have listed all of the characteristics that make my client, the father, the better custodial parent in the best interest of the child, and had the court agree with me. I did not argue these characteristics from a generic male view, but from what my client explained to me and told me, I fought for my client from my client’s point of view. If my client is the mother, I would fight from her point of view and list the characteristics making her the preferred custodian, as that is what attorneys do for both men and women.
It is admitted that the New York Family Court and Supreme Court treat men and women differently in Family Law and Divorce cases, and that some attorneys do focus only on women or men, by choice and because of their belief systems. However, after having representing plenty of men and women in divorce cases, and having fought hard and won custody for many men and women, I am 100% sure that the professional relationship between the client and the attorney is all that matters when choosing an attorney. What I mean is that, if the client has faith in the attorney, and If the attorney believes in the client’s case enough to accept representation of the client, and the attorney has the requisite experience, in court and in dealing with other attorneys, coupled with the knowledge of the law due to their specialization in divorce and family law, then that is all that matters when choosing a divorce attorney for a man or a women.
Until Next Time,
Helen M. Dukhan, Esq., LL.M. @ www.DukhanLaw.com
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